She Really Moved People With Her Presence...

She was on the train and everyone knew it instantly..it was clear and evident
Everyone couldn't take their eyes off of her ...they were wondering about her scent

People were amazed by her and it continued stop after stop...on the Train
She had everyone's undivided attention ...but that was easy to explain

I never in life seen a woman Move the People for 7 or 8 stops on the line
To see her do it and not even smile nor entertain...was simply blowing my mind

I had to know why she moved the crowd ..with such grace and ease
So I went to where she was and I was immediately feeling a weakness in my Knees

It was unbelievable..it was an incredible and amazingly thing you had to be there to appreciate it
Because this lady on the Marta was making people move on the train...Because she smelled like hot Chitlin Shit

I have never in my Life smelled anything quite like this before...she also smelled like someone pissed on her clothes before they pushed her out of the door..I am not convinced like some people were trying to justify the reasons she smelled like Pig Intestines and Gopher piss...I am never convinced that any Human Being could ever smell like this...I laughed every time the train would stop and see people jumping off that car she was on ..as she sat there with her eyes closed looking like ...She wanted to just be left alone. I am not rhyming in this segment on purpose and I don't even know why I can't stop ..but if you would have smelled this Lady's ass...you would understand why my mouth would Drop... Her name is Penelope ...like the cat that Pepe le Pew used to chase around  and could never catch...if Pepe caught this stankin ass woman..he would be killed by the smell of her powerfully funky Snatch...One thing for sure and another thing for certain...this woman needs a Doctor ...there is nothing she could do for that odor ..behind a shower curtain...

Funky ass Lady behind me on the Train..who lit up Marta with her most horrifying smell...I welcome you and your rotten ass into Krackie-Tales!

Where Is She Now...?

When i moved to Atlanta,Ga , in April,1995, I was always going to baseball games at Turner Field...Home Of The Atlanta Braves . I always saw this lady out front...a homeless lady and i will call her Miss Ida Mae, well because she looks like her name should be Ida Mae and in KrackieTales...I am The Kang Round Heah!!! Well back to my regularly scheduled Post ..already in progress. This lady had two legs in '95 and she was out front near the Blue Lot and racking up major cheez from the thousands of fans...Then in '96 she had one leg and even more fans were dropping money in her can and she seemed so sad at times however, it could have just been part of her hustle. I saw her maybe twice more that year and she was confined to a wheelchair by now and her can was always running over...she had lost both legs by the time i saw her again in 2001  and boy she was just simply as common at the games as Bobby Cox and Chipper  Jones  by now ..so fans had their dollars out to give to her when they stepped out of their cars. She was the parking lot face of Atlanta Braves Baseball...Miss Ida Mae ,the lady with no legs. Now , i saw miss Ida Mae downtown here recently and she was looking very healthy and still bumming money ,but she had moved her operation towards the GreyHound Bus Station on Forsythe St....But Here is The Shit that really grabbed my attention..Miss Ida Mae had no WheelChair and Two Goddamn Legs!! I started to ask that Big Funky ass Old Bag for my estimated 67.50 back , that i had given her over the years at Turner Field...but instead i will just place her in my archives within KrackieTales...So if you see a 5'5", 75 yr old woman ,with two teeth on the bottom and one on the top...don't give her a quarter..give her a dollar...She is an original Hustler...An O.G.= Old Grandma...and a member of Krackietales

I Know That He Will Protect My Ass...

I have not one single iota of  Homophobia , i am afraid of The Police in certain situations at least; Like in the following situations...
1) When i am Being Black In A Black Neighborhood at night
2) When i am being Black ,while i drive home from work and may be the only car  on the road...in A small town.
3) When i am being Black when a white lady screams Help in the distance and that 6'4" light-skinned brother with 15 tat's ,suddenly shrinks to a thick, short , dark-skinned w/no Tattoo's about 5'9" brother...all of a sudden
4) when i am being Black as the Hot Lamp comes on at Krispie-Kreme and cops are trying to beat me to the front of the line
5) When i am being black ...while i take my walks over here in the West End and a Cop is following me the entire time trying to coerce me to run so he can shot me in the back and sprinkle crack on me along with a gun
6) when i am being Black in a store and the door alarm goes off as i walk in and the cops are behind me ..and one of the cops is a rookie ,who hasn't shot his first Kneegrow yet

All of those reasons are valid and pretty scary and even though Racial-Profiling isn't a laughing matter...it's laughable by comparison to my new fear. last night i was coming home with my son Zairre and we were about to catch the train ...the machine was being a bitch and kept rejecting my card..so the Marta Cop came through the security gate and walked over real tough and in his  freshly cleaned and pressed uniform. He came over and cleared his throat.........and in his most FEMININE voice ,he said, May i Help you Sir...he sounded as if he was singing it..i turned around and looked at my son ,whom at 9 yrs old ....he immediately laughed! I was now nervous because it's just me ,him , and my son and this Gay Policeman had a gun. I was afraid like a black girl getting pulled over late at night in the city and a cop walks up with his dick out...This wasn't cool! Now i had tried this card about 15 times with no success and i am frustrated , the gay cop says to me ...." Just reeelaaax and try it one more time"...so ,now he is standing like right beside me and i could have sworn he was grinding on my leg ,but of course that was  my imagination and an enactment of my fear of being molested by the armed Homosexual policeman...so once he said relax and try it once more in his most melodic tone ..i swiped the card and wow...this shit worked! So  now i have to turn to his smiling face and say thank you...instead i said " Wow , you must be a Lucky Charm" i believe that i inadvertently made a gay joke...Okay i am not Homophobic but ,i am definitely PoPoHomoPhobic..my latest Fear of The Cops..only in My City ...Gay Cop...you are now a permanent guest in my KrackieTales...and  There's nothing wrong with that...HA!

This Moment In Krackie History...

Now i don't usually talk about people and you didn't hear this from me... Ha! I love my city ...Atlanta ,Georgia is the best place to measure yourself as a Black Person, we have people whom are the Upper Echelon of society and they have a certain look about themselves. They will make you feel like you need to get your money right and you even catch yourself saying it out loud. I move about this city and i know that we aren't all glitz and glamour and i refuse to sell that image to the rest of the world. We also have the people whom believe that they have it going on ,when actually, they are really struggling to survive while looking  good while they eat noodles all week. Then we have the people whom are just surviving and they really look like they are just holding on...these are the greatest sources of entertainment in downtown and beyond. This next story is about one of those people and her name is Miss Sarah...Only because she just looks like that white lady at work that always bring stuff for the sistas to get on their good side. Miss Sarah is in a wheel Chair and that is sad to even think about ...so i will just let that leave my thoughts. She was rolling around downtown looking dirty as hell and  she was scratching herself the entire time that i was watching her and wow...she looked liked someone had dared to crinkle some sheets with her funky ass ,because her hair was as nappy as Whoopi GoldBerg's and i aint lying either!
Now i am about to say something that all of you are gonna say "you Are wrong for this one" i don't give a damn !! this is funny as hell and all of you know it...I told you that she was in a wheelchair and that's not funny ...she had on some Pajama's ...that was nasty...She was missing one of her legs ..not funny...

She was riding around talking shit ..with her prosthetic leg in her lap!!! Now tell me that shit aint funny..lmao!!
Miss Sarah ...welcome to KrackieTales with love...

The Crack Heads Invade Krackie-Tales...

I haven't had the privilege of having Cynthia in my Tales before ...even though i have seen her at five different occasions in downtown. She hasn't really done anything Krackie worthy until now. Normally with her it's the same old sad story about being pregnant,homeless,and stricken with HIV...that's her hook. However,before you grab your heart and say  awwwwwww....that is so sad, allow me to tell you that the first time i saw her, was two years ago and she was pregnant with the same baby. She is possibly a lovely girl beneath the dirt and grime of the streets and she is about 5'7"...around 125lbs,with a very cute face ..i mean dirty,but still a little cute left in her. Well i saw her again and this time she was on Luckie St. Headed down by the bus station on Forsyth St. and i was at a red light. Well the light turned Green and i hesitated for about 4 seconds to allow a couple to cross and then i heard her say and i quote "Will You Take Your Ass On !!"....i was like What The Fuck and of course i laughed and elected her to be my newest Krackie-Tale...That whole her being a Crack Head thing..that's just coincidence. I would like to remind my fellow Atliens ,that it's winter and we have a city where our homelessness is very bad...we should all take time out and go amongst the Hungry,homeless,cold ,and desperate and help me find some more Krackie-Tales stories.....Oh! I meant let's donate what we can to help those less fortunate ..old coats ,blankets,hats,gloves,and even food are essential items for our brother's and sister's in need...Thank you my Krackie Family...now that's what's krackin!

Maybe We Should Move On....

I am well aware of what Atlanta,Georgia is all about,from the the gutter to the glitter , from the thugs to the executives, from the Hoodrats to the Glamour girls , and last but not least from the Homeowners to the Homosexuals , Atlanta is a melting pot for all types of cultures,beliefs ,and customs. This city will offer you something each night of the week and each hour of the day. I live 5 minutes from Downtown but, when i ride through there ,i feel as if i live too far. I love The West End for it's wildly fun people of various backgrounds and economic status,but downtown is turning into my KrackieTales Goldmine. Tonight was no exception and in some ways very expected ...it begins with Peter and Tommy...i'm not sure if they were really named Peter and Tommy ,but hell, show me a crowd of White Guys and i will probably see at least 30 Peter's or Tommy's. I see a couple walking down Luckie St about to cross Forsythe ,right in front of LandMark Restaurant. I thought that it was a nice couple just out for a nice stroll as they are stumbling in a seemingly playful way...However, as they came closer ,i realized that it was two twenty-something white guys and the little one must have been the girlfriend. the Bigger of the two was walking with his eyes almost shut,because he was "Rob The White Boy " drunk! Luckily i was there and not my 22 yr old self...well he still wouldn't have gotten robbed ,but beat up would have been a definite. Well the taller of the two was like out on his feet drunk and the little one was crying and kissing and rubbing on his back and side. Then they stopped in front of the car and began to kiss ...i blew the horn and scared the penis out of their asses...i saw a gerbil run across the street to and everything, yelling Yaaayyyy i'm free from the ass prison...i'm joking  about the gerbil,but it's still funny as hell! So they staggered on down the street and disappeared around the corner and walked right into KrackieTales..welcome!

Tale Of Two Shitties...

Now i am all for true Love and i believe a woman should stand by her man no matter what the situation may be...Angel's will fall but he too will rise ..back into the graces of the Most High. I have been preaching the philosophy of  Love to Develop the Foundation for Evolution ...But wait  a Krackin' Minute!

Tonight i was Downtown Atlanta and i admit,i have seen, it all down here and quite frankly nothing shocks me .........well until i saw Betty and Bruce tonight. I don't know if there names are Betty and Bruce ,but in Krackie-Tales, They Betty and Bruce. I am on Peachtree St. and riding to get something to eat ,when i noticed as usual a Plethora of our usual Homeless people walking around . I see a couple walking up the sidewalk as lover's do ...holding hands ,kissing ,and showing the type of public affection that makes woman feel special  and  wanted! This guy was on top of the world and she was on cloud nine...I only saw one small issue with their relationship...they both looked like they smelled like fresh shit! You see this couple was homeless and living on the streets of Downtown. That aspect isn't funny ,but trying to figure out which one was the woman and which was the man,because they both had on the same dirty ass outfit and matching dirt...Ladies moral of this story is ..."Stand By Your Man"...That's what's Krackin downtown ,but wait til you hear this story to follow...

I'm on Lee St. and it's dark as hell , i am not  even expecting to see a dusty ,crusty Old 75 yr old white homeless lady pushing a grocery cart down the middle of the street....Wait a minute a white homeless woman in West End is like spotting a Rich Black dude at a Klan Rally without a mask with a white woman as his date!  Anyway, here she was standing in the middle of the hood , with a shopping cart, looking at me like if that nigger would have hit me...Lol ..wow! I am KrackieOne..This Is KrackieTales and this is what's Krackin'

A KrackieTales Story...

Tonight i was sitting in my living room and wanted to say so about the crazy thing's i witnessed on Lee Street,but i couldn't bring myself to remove my mind from my favorite comedian and Best Friend. I have known this young man for about 9.5 years and he has been the source of my laughter on many occasions over that time period. When i first saw Him ,he was lying down looking at the ceiling,nervous and trembling. I noticed how huge his hands were and i immediately grabbed his right hand and i shook it...I introduced myself in a manner befitting a gentleman. He simply gave me a blank stare and slid his hand from inside mine..he never responded. I wasn't hurt nor offended by his unresponsiveness ,i simply continued to talk to him everyday. I continued to try and be his friend and bond with him daily...he still never responded. Then one day six months into our little communication cat and mouse game..he finally responded to me in a somewhat positive fashion. He smiled at me and began to reach his hand out to me ,but he pulled it back ,once i reached for his hand. I was fed up so i decided to take a different route ,so i decide to feed him instead of talking to him. This worked a little because he would greet me at the door everyday when i showed up...he would smile and give me a hand shake without slipping his hand away. He even laughed at my jokes on occasion...he was a great friend after all. We became so very close over the next days,weeks ,months ,and years and we even began to hang out a lot more . We would play catch and watch movies together... We would play video games and watch sports together. We had become best friends and we remain best friend's till this very day..we still are growing and bonding together as men and i have a few years over him..so as the older of the duo...i tend to give him advice and basically do all that i can to keep him out trouble. He always asks me if we'll ever be roommates again and i tell him to never say never ,but don't hold your breath either.... i love him but when we lived together before, a woman came between us..he actually stole the woman's heart from me. She loved me until he came along and afterwards she loved him and only him. That stung a lot ,considering i had this woman first...now these two are currently in a relationship together and they live together as well...for nine years he's been there with her and still trying to maintain our great friendship. We are very close and not even a woman could nor would ever stand between me and my homie ..not a chance. So we have stood the test of time and have been friends for over nine years and i guarantee ,that we will be friends until my dying day...which i pray comes a long time before his...to my best friend in the entire world..just a note in KrackieTales to tell you that i love you and i miss you. To My Son Zairre Keyshawn Smith..you are my best friend for life...

*This has been a KrackieTales Story...Now this is what's Krackin**

Ho-Li- Daze...Custom Is Short For Customer...

What's up To my KrackieTales followers in the World ...Before i start with this post i just want to take time out and say...PrivEt, Kak pozhivAesh,spasiba! To My Russian Family...Hallo..Danke Veilen Dank to my German Family...checking in on Krackie-Tales. Feel Free to respond in your Native Languages and i will Transliterate and Respond back to you...You are My Family as well.

Now i want to speak to my Family right here in the United States...when are we gonna stop celebrating deception and discover our own lost and forgotten Holidays and Traditions. I know that we have been raped of our heritage and stripped of our language and knowledge of self...but we must not play the victim any longer. I hear people justify lying to their children about Santa Claus out of Tradition...The Devil's greatest weapon is Deception and Gifts of Grandeur for your loyal service to him..isn't it a weird coincidence that Santa Clause if you switch the last three letters is (Satans Clause) ...isn't it unreal that Beard if you turn the B in mirror is (dread) ...People are killing each other and fighting on ThanksGiving(Indian Killing) for Christmas gifts for their kid's...all in the name of Holiness...Really? I have never understood how struggling to pay your bills until March can possibly worth it . I don't understand how a lie could be the tradition for a day dedicated to the Prophet of you the Christian Faith...I don't understand how you minister's and religious leaders across the globe are allowing such a lie to even exist. This is Debated each year amongst us and it is discussed because deep in our hearts we all know that it is not the way to go,but are afraid to explain why. I will tell you why it is not cool..because we as African-Americans aren't holding down Tradition...we don't want to be outdone by Craig and nim!

My children have not been able to cute their way into a Christmas gift from me yet and they never will..I am not sure if  people understand the dynamics of my arguments against Christmas. I am not making a religious statement with this..i am making a moral statement. Everyone speaks about the state of mind of our society and our young people ..yet we continue to operate within the same system that is creating them ... A lie even small can be detrimental to the moral fiber of our children...we want them to be the best people ,but we start their lives out with these lies . We groom them to believe that a lie for a reason considered acceptable is fine...i have an analogy that i have adopted as my words of wisdom about this  subject...

THE TREE...

If you live in a seasonable state ,then you will fully understand this analogy. A tree in Georgia is green during the spring and summer and it beautifies our landscapes along our roads and our yards within our neighborhoods. They lie to us during this time ,because once the weather turns cold and the sunshine is  weaker..the  leaves begin to fall and that same tree appears Barren and ugly. We stand in front of them at this time and we say "i need to get rid of that ugly tree"...but we loved that tree all spring and summer. If you take that tree and place it in A State ,where the season remains like spring and summer year round...they will stay Green and beautiful and it will never lie to us about it's beauty again. The same can be said for our children...Place them in the Light (sunshine) of The Most High (God) at all times ,their leaves won't fall off and they won't appear unfavorable to you ever again. We must raise our children to not lie by not lying to them with all of this Santa Claus ,Easter Bunny nonsense and teach them to be Trees that grow strong from strong and stable roots and stay beautiful and blossom into greatness. ..

* this has been a KrackieTales Rant and i am The KrackieOne....Thank You...Peace